Comments on: Action Plan for Single Girls on Valentine’s Day

By: Adrian

Adrian — Tue, 04 May 2010 16:41:59 +0000

You have every right to feel the way you do and I don’t think you’re being too critical at all. You we’re lied to, she hid things from you and ultimately, lost your trust, not to mention how badly she’s hurt you in the process of all of this. However, I personally know that no matter how bad someone we love hurts us, it doesn’t always mean that we can just stop loving them that instant. You may still love her, and part of you may love her for years to come and that’s perfectly normal. With all that she hid from you and the way she broke your trust, I think it would be very hard for you two to ever have a healthy and meaningful relationship after this. Also, it sounds like she has some confidence and/or self esteem issues, which could likely be the reason for her randomly having those crazy moments, i.e, when she called you short and ugly and started becoming unappreciative of you and the love you had for her. When women have esteem issues, they tend to always take it out on the ones they know love them the most, and they say hurtful things to those people because in a weird way, it makes them feel better about themselves, gives them a sense of "power" and many women enjoy that feeling of control - being able to hurt someone, to get a certain reaction out of them, constantly having a bad attitude and being ungrateful-makes them feel like they’re holding the reigns and they have complete control over the relationship. I’m sure that her mother being ill along with other stress factors probably contributed and made her a little more edgy than normal, and some things could be over looked, as we all have our days and we have all at some point in our lives, said or done something hurtful that we really didn’t mean, but she went over board with it and some of those things she said are things you can’t forget easily and even if you were to get back together, and she did change, a part of you will always wonder if there is something she’s not telling you, are there more secrets she hasn’t told you and what are they, the next time she has a bad day , what kinds of hurtful things is she going to say to me this time? Basically, no matter how bad you tried or wanted to, it would be nearly impossible to fully trust this girl again and without trust, any relationship will crumble. She’s telling the truth when she says she is sorry and wants you back, and yes, she most likely really does love you, as you still have feeling for her too despite all she’s done. But, as hard as it may be, this is the time when you have to take care of you. All that energy you spent making her happy and being there for her when she needed you? Focus that energy on YOU, making yourself happy and taking care of yourself for now. You deserve to be happy and to receive the love you give, and there is someone out there that will appreciate those little things you do even though you don’t have too and will be up front and honest with you just like you are to them. While nobody but her can be sure, I honestly think she did love you for you, but she made alot of bad decisions and choices and it’s clear that she wasn’t ready for a serious relationship with someone who truly cared about her, she needs to do alot of maturing and learn how to deal with stress and being overwhelmed in a more positive manner than taking it out on those who care about her the most. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you! Remember, YOU have done nothing wrong and deserve to be happy :)!!!
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By: pretty n pink_14

pretty n pink_14 — Tue, 04 May 2010 16:39:59 +0000

you answered your question! you are a rebound guy(we will not admit it that we are using you guys)! keep a distance from here and find someone worth your love and your trust. she made up a lot of stories and lies. what love is there when she can’t even send you a card if she can’t afford a gift on your birthday! she has emotional imbalance so better break loose with her. goodluck!
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By: Bob

Bob — Tue, 04 May 2010 16:37:59 +0000

I was going to answer this question, but the guy before me basically answered it correctly.

Your chick sounds like a drama queen. She’ll keep doing this to you, believe me.
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By: TrustingT

TrustingT — Tue, 04 May 2010 16:35:59 +0000

So…the beginning of your friendship intertwined with another relationship she was having…until, of course, they broke up and then you had her to yourself? Then while you two were involved, she gave you a contradictory statement about her broken hymen? Then, she became very critical and nasty towards you…didn’t acknowledge your birthday…..but she continues to tell you she loves you. Okay. She sounds like she has another life that you don’t know about that may involve another guy, other people, herself….but she’s not there with you 100%. At least not how you were or thought she was or wanted the two of you to be. I’m sorry. It happens.

And she’s a liar.
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By: Trace

Trace — Tue, 04 May 2010 16:33:59 +0000

If you like drama then give her another chance
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By: John

John — Tue, 04 May 2010 11:31:23 +0000

Am I being too critical or should I take her back and give her another chance?
This is my story and I need a mature response. My friends or Yahoo:singles&dating are not mature.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We both go to school 3000 miles away from home, and we met there, even though we live nearby. We used to talk a lot before but I didnt realize I liked her until she got hospitalized. I sent her a teddy bear with a big red rose. I really liked her personality and integrity, her drive and intelligence. We continued talking but more flirtatious. When classes started again in the fall, she ignored me for about two weeks. Then out of the blue she invites me to a party. Then we start dating that month, and "lose it" after a month of dating. It was good up until Valentine’s.
Before we had sex, she said she broke her hymen playing sports. I accepted her word. Near Valentine’s day she tells me even though she didnt have sex, she was fingered to the point of breaking it. Then over the course of the semester she basically went crazy. She started criticizing how I look, that I’m short and ugly, and was constantly taking me for granted. My birthday came and went and she didnt even give me a card. Her actions didnt make sense, since just recently she said she loved me. I thought it had something to do with her mom being diagnosed terminally sick.
I spoke with her over the summer about it, and she assured me that it was because she was feeling overwhelmed and that it would never happen again. I believed her then. Now I find out that she was dating the guy she was involved with up until he broke it off; right before we got together. Never did she mention breaking up a mere two weeks before dating me. I am sure I was the rebound guy but she denies it.
She says that she loves me and wants me back, that she didnt know what I meant to her, and that’s she’s sorry. But I cant help but wonder what other secrets, schemes she has planned. I always thought we had this fairy-tale relationship, but with the secrets and lies, it loses all meaning. I loved her (or the girl she led me to believe was her), but I dont believe she ever did love me for me.